From a post-rapture Heaven

GREETINGS FROM HEAVEN: They even have an internet connection, but I'm told God doesn't *do* Facebook so I have to be quick.

Things I've figured out already:

1) Jesus was actually 37 when he was crucified - someone got the dates wrong.

2) Peter gets really excited over cats. Apparently he never saw one when he was earth bound but has got quite attached to them now.

3) If you do some digging in Italy, Greece, Israel and Egypt, you may still be able to find some really early copies of the Gospel and this "Q" gospel everyone goes on about. I'm told they are buried in an assortment of undiscovered tombs, collapsed caves and in one case a sealed box buried outside Athens. Can't give grid references though, God doesn't *do* grid references.

4) Turns out homosexuality ISN'T a sin, and nobody here can quite get their heads round why so many people are bothered about it. St Paul insists he's been either mis-quoted or mis-interpreted. He's also livid about some of the shit said about him and women, but he concedes that he may have "Ken Clarked" and mis-spoke.

5) There wasn't really a garden of eden etc, but there was a celestial genesis that kind of generated aspects of our humanity - it's all a bit difficult to explain and everyone agrees that it's best not to get picky over the details of the first few chapters of genesis.

6) There are these weird celestial influences over reality that are part of the structure here, but are semi-autonomous from God. God's ok with that - it's supposed to work that way. Kinda like a devolution of power from the centre, but still operating under a constitutional framework that's been developing for ages. It's all contained in some massive document that I haven't had time to read, but I'm told not to worry about it. I'll try to get more info.

7) WOW - this HUGE angel just walked past!!! He / she / it was about 8 or 9 feet tall!

8) Ok, people are bugging me for the internet now so I gotta go.

TTFN! xx

(by Sanctus 1's only raptured member Lev... picture from the 'rapture' scene in Six Feet Under)